It’s a fact of life. We are getting older by the day. And we are all in need of the Art of Care-Giving. What all of us want is to have meaningful lives that allow us to continue being productive and feel like we are giving back to others. Most of us wish to continue living in our homes in the community. This is where we raised our families and worked. But there is a time in all of our lives that we need or require some help from someone else. Where do we turn to for that help?
Where can we find “Free” Care-Giving?
The first place people look is family. Mom “expects” the son or daughter to come live with her to take care of her at home. Is this possible? Is this even a viable option? What if the son feels like he wasn’t loved as a child? He might not be willing to give that time. Generations ago families grew up and lived in close proximity to each other. Also there were large families where some of the helping chores could be passed around. But today families are smaller and spread out from coast to coast. When my parents were aging and trying to stay as independent as possible my siblings and I tried to spread out the work. My brother took care of paying the bills. My sister was the medical transportation provider. And I took care of the insurance and all the paperwork involved with that. We felt honored to be able to help out because it felt right. I never felt like a “care-giver”, this was just something that needed to be done so I did it. Come to find out all of what we did is considered care-giving.
A friend of mine is taking care of his father. The bulk of the load is falling on him. The father lives next door to him and the son goes in daily to see that he eats, showers, takes his medicine, gets to the doctor and just about everything in-between. This is allowing dad to remain at home where he wants to be. My friend feels torn between caring for his father and taking care of his own life. He WILL need help so that he does not burn-out. There is help out there for care-giver respite.
Where can we get Support?
So where do care-givers go the get the relief and respite that they need? If they are working a 36 hour day, 7.5 days a week sooner or later something is going to snap. The first place to “shop” is at the Area Agency on Aging. They have grantees that have staff available to come in and take over some of those chores on a short-term basis to let the family member have some alone time so that he or she can find a corner and scream if they need that.
Many are fortunate to live in a neighborhood that has people willing to come over and sit with Dad while the main care-giver runs some personal errands. What a blessing that is! The neighbor might just come over and drink a cup of coffee with you and while you let your hair down. Or that neighbor is able to give you an hour or so for you to go to the gym for a quick pick-up game of basketball or your yogi class. ANYTHING so that you can recharge your batteries for when you return home to care for your loved one.
There are more and more paid agencies that can help with care-giving.
But what about when there is no family willing or able to help? Where do we turn to then? There are agencies that provide in-home assistance and care. If only homemaking chores, such as cleaning, laundry, and cooking, than the agency can make arrangements for one of their employees to go in and work 1-2 days a week. Rest assured, care-giving agencies do back-ground checks on their employees. If personal care is needed in addition to homemaker services then the agency might send someone in more frequently. There are also agencies that will provide transportation to doctor appointments and back home.
Most, if not all, states have an Area Agency on Aging office. This office knows the needs of the community and the resources available. This is an excellent starting point. The Area Agency on Aging will know if “Meals-on-Wheels” is available in the area. They will know of agencies that provide homemaker and personal care services. They will also be able to give information on electronic monitoring devices where help is available by pressing a button on a pendant. These devices also have a GPS tracking system installed in them so the person wearing it is free to go to the Senior Center or out in their back yard. There are some devices that also have a fall-detection feature that will sound the alert if the person falls. All of this gives the family peace of mind knowing their loved ones are being checked in on but yet are where they want to be.
In conclusion we are ALL care-givers at one time or another in our lives. Cherish these special moments you have with your loved ones because life is short and all too soon you might regret not having spent some of that time. But do not try to be Hercules! Reach out for someone to help you!
We are Available for Contact Regarding This (or anything on this Community Information System) See How by CLICKING HERE to Contact Us.
Response Magic